Jake and I had been married for two years. We cooked dinner together. We went to bed at the same time. He used to text me in the middle of the day just because.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the texts slowed down, and he started working late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t worry at first, but I should\u2019ve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One evening, Jake walked in looking like he\u2019d been dragged behind a bus.\u201cWorking late again?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re wrapping up a big project. You know how it is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t. His job had never taken this much from him before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t worry at first, but I should\u2019ve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I nodded anyway, because that\u2019s what you do when you want to be the supportive wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Weeks passed in a blur of late nights and short, clipped answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One night, I slipped into bed after Jake had already fallen asleep. I closed my eyes, then the silence broke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMARLENA.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sat straight up and stared at Jake. He was deeply asleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJake?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Weeks passed in a blur of late nights and short, clipped answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I lay back down and told myself it was nothing. But less than a minute later, he said it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMarlena. Marlena. MARLENA!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This time, he wasn\u2019t whispering. It sounded urgent. It sounded\u2026 intimate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I couldn\u2019t just lie there. I reached out and shook his shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJake. Wake up. Jake!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He groaned, squinting at me in the dark. \u201cWhat? Rose? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWho is Marlena?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It sounded urgent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stared at me like I\u2019d started speaking in tongues. \u201cWhat are you talking about, Rose?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou just said her name three times, Jake. Who is she?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake rubbed his face with his hands. \u201cI didn\u2019t say anything. You\u2019re having a bad dream.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t dreaming, Jake. I was wide awake. You shouted it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sighed and rolled back over, pulling the covers up. \u201cYou must\u2019ve been dreaming. Go back to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t,\u201d I said to his back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he was already drifting off again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t say anything. You\u2019re having a bad dream.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It happened again the next night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was just drifting off when I heard Jake mutter, \u201cMarlena.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t sleep at all that night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next morning, I tried to play it cool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou were talking in your sleep last night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake snorted, not even looking up from his mug. \u201cNo, I wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou kept saying a woman\u2019s name, Jake. Marlena.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It happened again the next night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He took a slow sip of coffee and shook his head. \u201cI didn\u2019t dream about anything. You\u2019re imagining things, Rose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Imagining things. His continued dismissals stung.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI just thought\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRose, I\u2019m exhausted. I have a million things on my plate at work. Can we please not do this right now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I let it go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, I told him I let it go. But inside, I was building a case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His continued dismissals stung.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For the next few nights, I became a detective in my own bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I paid attention to everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake would come home late, eat a few bites of whatever I made, and keep his phone face down on the table the entire time. He\u2019d fall asleep before I even got my pajamas on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And almost every single night, he called out for Marlena in his sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes it was soft. Sometimes it sounded like he was asking a question. Once, he sounded almost panicked, like he was running away from something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I became a detective in my own bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stopped shaking him awake. What was the point? He would just lie to me again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three weeks. That\u2019s how long I held it in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three weeks of him coming home late and looking through me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three weeks of hearing that name in the dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We didn\u2019t know anybody called Marlena, and he\u2019d never mentioned a colleague by that name, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was a total mystery, and in my world, mysteries usually mean trouble. If he wasn\u2019t talking about her during the day, it meant she was someone he was hiding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three weeks of hearing that name in the dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stopped pretending this was just some weird sleep habit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I needed to know if my husband was having an affair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One night, after Jake\u2019s breathing hit that heavy, rhythmic pace of deep sleep, I did something I\u2019m not proud of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My heart was beating so loud I was sure it would wake him up. I swiped through his contacts, my fingers shaking, and there it was: Marlena.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did something I\u2019m not proud of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My hands went cold and sweaty at the same time. It wasn\u2019t just a dream. She was real! She was a contact in his phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He had lied right to my face, over and over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I copied the number into my own phone and put his back exactly where I found it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I sat there in the dark, watching the man I thought I knew, wondering what secret he was keeping from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was he cheating? Every worst-case scenario played on a loop in my brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He had lied right to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next morning, as soon as he pulled out of the driveway, I sat at the kitchen table and dialed Marlena\u2019s number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The phone rang three times before she picked up.\u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m Jake\u2019s wife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a long, heavy pause on the other end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow do you know my husband?\u201d I pressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman cleared her throat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I dialed Marlena\u2019s number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her voice was calm and controlled. \u201cWe work in the same office. That\u2019s all I can really say.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s all you can say?\u201d I felt a surge of heat go up my neck. \u201cIf you just work together, then why has he been shouting your name in his sleep for the last month? Why is he coming home at ten o\u2019clock every night?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe\u2019s been calling my name in his sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She let out a short, sharp bark of laughter. \u201cI really can\u2019t talk about this with you. You should speak to your husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then the line went dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe work in the same office.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If she were his mistress, she probably would have denied knowing him. If she were just some random person, she would have sounded confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, she sounded\u2026 careful. Like she was reading from a script.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I realized right then that I wasn\u2019t going to get the truth by asking for it. I\u2019d already tried that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I needed to see what was happening with my own eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If she were his mistress, she probably would have denied knowing him.
Around noon, I drove down to his office building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stopped at a deli on the way and picked up a brown bag of lunch \u2014 sandwiches, chips, the whole bit. I needed a reason to be there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The receptionist looked up and gave me a practiced smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi. I\u2019m here to see Jake,\u201d I said, holding up the bag. \u201cI brought him some lunch. A little surprise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She tapped on her keyboard for a second. \u201cHe\u2019s in his office, tucked away at the end of the hall. Go right on up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I drove down to his office building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The elevator ride felt like it took an hour. My stomach was doing backflips. What was I going to find? Was Marlena going to be sitting on his desk? Was I about to blow up my entire life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I reached his door and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I knocked softly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah?\u201d Jake\u2019s voice came through the wood. He sounded distracted, tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pushed the door open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSurprise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was I about to blow up my entire life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was sitting behind a mountain of folders, his tie pulled loose, his hair a mess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRose?\u201d His smile appeared, but it was about two seconds too late to be real. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI thought I\u2019d bring you lunch.\u201d I walked into the room and lifted the bag. \u201cYou\u2019ve been working so hard lately, I figured you might have forgotten to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s\u2026 that is really nice, Rose.\u201d He glanced toward the hallway, then back at me. \u201cBut, uh, this isn\u2019t a great time. I\u2019m right in the middle of something big.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was sitting behind a mountain of folders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI won\u2019t stay long,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake opened his mouth to say something else, but then the door behind me swung open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJake, I need you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The voice was the same one from the phone. Marlena!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We both turned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A woman stood in the doorway. She was holding a thick blue folder and staring at me with a strange expression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The voice was the same one from the phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she glanced between us, \u201cI didn\u2019t realize you had company.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake swallowed hard. \u201cThis is my wife, Rosaline.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh\u2026 Let me introduce myself properly then.\u201d She stepped forward and held out her hand. \u201cI\u2019m Marlena, the internal compliance supervisor here. I need Jake to sign off on a few things before our big review meeting this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cInternal compliance?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My throat was so dry, I don\u2019t know how I forced the words out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marlena looked into my eyes and nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I rounded on Jake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t realize you had company.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJake, are you under some kind of review?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake let out a nervous, high-pitched laugh. \u201cIt\u2019s all just a big misunderstanding, Rose. Really. Nothing to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marlena tilted her head. She arched one eyebrow, looking at Jake with an expression that told me everything I needed to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t lie to me. How serious is this?\u201d I asked, turning back to Jake. \u201cCould you lose your job? Is that why you\u2019ve been working late so often?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jake let out a nervous, high-pitched laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2026\u201d Jake gulped. \u201cIt will be okay, Rose. There were just\u2026 a few mix-ups on the Johnson project. Some numbers didn\u2019t quite line up. But I\u2019m confident we can work through it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marlena didn\u2019t look nearly as confident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She set the blue folder down on his desk with a heavy thud. \u201cI\u2019ll give you two some privacy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She shot me a sympathetic look as she turned to leave. The door clicked shut, leaving us alone in Jake\u2019s office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou lied to me every single night for three weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She shot me a sympathetic look as she turned to leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI was trying to protect us, Rose,\u201d he pleaded. \u201cI didn\u2019t want you to worry. I thought if I could just fix the project, you\u2019d never have to know how close we were to losing everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cProtect us?\u201d I shook my head, feeling a bitter laugh bubble up. \u201cJake, I thought you were having an affair! I spent three weeks wondering if our marriage was over because you were too cowardly to admit you were in trouble at work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI would never do that to you!\u201d he shouted. \u201cI love you. I was just scared.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t much better,\u201d I said. \u201cYou shut me out. You let me think the worst of you because you didn\u2019t trust me enough to tell me the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI was trying to protect us, Rose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He just stood there among his piles of messed-up paperwork, looking smaller than I\u2019d ever seen him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I turned and walked out of the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMarlena\u201d wasn\u2019t a secret woman, but a lie that pointed to something even worse: Jake had messed up, and instead of owning that, he\u2019d tried to bury it beneath excuses and lies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Could I stay married to him after this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Could I stay married to him after this?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jake and I had been married for two years. We cooked dinner together. We went to bed at the same time. He used to text me in the middle of the day…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6294,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting-stories"],"yoast_head":"\n