One week of marriage, and I was still riding the high of it all: the ceremony, the honeymoon, and now, unpacking our things in our first home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I heard Derek\u2019s key in the lock, followed by his footsteps down the hall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHoney? I\u2019m home,\u201d he called out, his voice carrying that playful edge he got when he was excited about something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn the kitchen,\u201d I replied, setting down a crystal serving bowl we\u2019d received as a wedding gift from his aunt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek appeared in the doorway, his suit jacket slung over one shoulder, a smug grin plastered across his face. In his free hand, he held a large box tied with a ribbon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSurprise!\u201d He wiggled his eyebrows and extended the gift toward me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My heart fluttered. We\u2019d agreed no more presents after the wedding, but I couldn\u2019t help the smile that spread across my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOpen it and see.\u201d He leaned against the counter, watching me expectantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of jewelry or something thoughtful, I found myself staring at a frilly floral apron folded neatly on top of what appeared to be a dated ankle-length dress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I blinked, certain I was missing something.
\u201cIt\u2019s your house uniform,\u201d Derek announced with undisguised pride. \u201cMy mom wore one every day. It makes things feel more orderly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I ran my fingers over the cotton apron and eyed the black dress warily. Was \u201chouse uniform\u201d another word for Puritan dress? All it was missing was a broad collar and a bonnet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re serious?\u201d I asked, my voice carefully flat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek doubled down with a wink. \u201cTotally. No pressure, though \u2014 it\u2019s just tradition. Helps keep the homemaker mindset, y\u2019know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stared at him, searching his face for any sign he was joking. There wasn\u2019t one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI thought it would be a nice surprise,\u201d he added, his tone suggesting I should be thanking him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s definitely a surprise,\u201d I replied, focusing on keeping my expression neutral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I couldn\u2019t believe what was happening. This wasn\u2019t what I\u2019d signed up for \u2014 but part of me wondered if I should\u2019ve seen it coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I met Derek when I was working as a successful analyst. Over our year of dating, he had convinced me I\u2019d love being a homemaker, especially since we both dreamed of having two or three kids in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He assured me his job could support us entirely, that we\u2019d have more than enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I suggested finding remote work, he insisted I\u2019d be happier as a trad wife, that I could rediscover myself, take up new hobbies, and eventually focus on the baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had agreed to give it a try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But this? This was next level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo? What do you think?\u201d Derek prompted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took a long, hard look at him. There was a sparkle in his eyes and his smile was as joyful as a child watching fireworks on July 4th. He wasn\u2019t being malicious, just impossibly naive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s\u2026 traditional, you say?\u201d I managed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His face lit up. \u201cYeah! This is just like what my mom used to wear.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRight. Like your mom.\u201d I closed the box carefully. \u201cI\u2019ll try it on later.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGreat! I can\u2019t wait to see.\u201d He kissed my cheek and headed to the bedroom to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alright, I told myself. Let him think I\u2019m playing along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night, I laid the uniform neatly across our bed. A plan was forming in my mind, and to execute it, I dug out my dusty college-era sewing kit from the back of the closet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My husband was going to get a wake-up call he\u2019d never forget!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I became a 1950s dream wife overnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wore the dress religiously while making Derek breakfast before dawn, vacuuming in pearls I\u2019d inherited from my grandmother, and scrubbing baseboards on my knees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSee? Doesn\u2019t it just make everything more pleasant?\u201d Derek beamed on the third morning, watching me flip pancakes while dressed in the full getup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, absolutely,\u201d I replied, my voice honey-sweet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By day five, I wasn\u2019t just playing house; I was performing it to the hilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I\u2019d finished sewing my very barbed and pointed protest. It was a name tag I\u2019d embroidered onto the apron: \u201cDEREK\u2019S FULL-TIME HOUSEWIFE.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also started calling Derek \u201csir.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood morning, sir,\u201d I greeted as he came downstairs. \u201cYour breakfast is prepared. Would you like me to pour your coffee, or would you prefer to do it yourself, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek laughed nervously. \u201cThe uniform is enough, honey. You don\u2019t need to call me \u2018sir.’\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tilted my head, expression innocent. \u201cShould I wait by the door at 6 p.m. sharp with your slippers, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later that evening, I knocked softly on his office door. \u201cPermission to use the bathroom during my shift, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek\u2019s grin began to falter. \u201cOkay, you don\u2019t have to be sarcastic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSarcastic? I thought this was tradition.\u201d I gestured at my outfit, complete with the frilly apron and now a pair of white gloves I\u2019d found at a thrift store.
That weekend, Derek\u2019s boss and a few coworkers came over for dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I greeted them in full uniform, opening the door wide, and curtsying almost to the floor as they trooped inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWelcome to our home,\u201d I announced. \u201cThe master of the house will be down shortly to greet you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEr\u2026 are you Derek\u2019s wife?\u201d his boss, Richard, asked as I took his coat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pointed to my nametag. \u201cI am, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He smiled uncomfortably. \u201cThat\u2019s\u2026 uh. What did you do before you got married?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, I retired my dreams the moment I said \u2018I do,’\u201d I replied with a placid smile. \u201cDerek prefers it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The room chilled. Derek, who had just come down the stairs, turned beet red.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHoney, didn\u2019t we agree that this\u2026 joke had gone a bit too far?\u201d He said as he hurried up to greet his colleagues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut I\u2019m not joking, sir,\u201d I replied. \u201cI\u2019m fulfilling my proper role as your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of Derek\u2019s coworkers, Anita, narrowed her eyes. \u201cProper role?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe homemaker,\u201d I explained brightly. \u201cDerek believes in traditional values. The apron helps maintain the right mindset.\u201d I smoothed my hands over the frilly fabric. \u201cIsn\u2019t it darling? Just like his mother used to wear.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek\u2019s smile froze on his face. Richard shifted uncomfortably. Anita\u2019s eyebrows practically disappeared into her hairline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs that so?\u201d Richard asked, looking between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJulia has a unique sense of humor,\u201d Derek said weakly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The dinner crawled by, Derek growing more uncomfortable with each passing minute. I served the meal with mechanical precision and only spoke when spoken to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After the guests left, Derek exploded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat was that?\u201d he demanded, loosening his tie with angry tugs. \u201cYou\u2019re making me look like some kind of sexist pig!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I replied with mock innocence: \u201cMe? I\u2019m just living the dream you picked out for me. Tradition, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I meant by tradition!\u201d His voice cracked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen what did you mean?\u201d I asked calmly, my smile holding steady. \u201cBecause from where I stand, a \u2018house uniform\u2019 sends a pretty clear message about your expectations.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI just thought\u2026 my mom always\u2014\u201d he sputtered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour mom chose that for herself,\u201d I pointed out. \u201cOr, at least, I hope she did. But you chose it for me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He ran his hands through his hair. \u201cFine. I get it. The uniform was too much.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe uniform was a symptom,\u201d I corrected him. \u201cI agreed to try things your way when we married, Derek, but I never signed up to be your servant. If that\u2019s what you want, then you should\u2019ve stayed single and hired a housekeeper.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hung the apron on a hook in the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m never wearing that thing again,\u201d I declared. \u201cAnd you need to think long and hard about whether you married me because you love me, or because you wanted a replacement Mommy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He started to protest, to insist he married me for love, but I walked out of the room and went to bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monday morning came, and Derek kissed me goodbye like nothing had happened. But when he returned that evening, he walked in the door pale and tight-lipped, dropping his keys with a clatter on the entry table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRough day?\u201d I asked from the couch where I sat in jeans and a t-shirt, laptop open on my knees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI got called into HR,\u201d he said hoarsely. \u201cSomeone took your wife performance very seriously. They asked whether my \u2018traditional values\u2019 shaped how I treated women at work. The company is going through some \u2018diversity audit,\u2019 and they\u2019re going to be watching me closely.\u201d
I raised my eyebrows, feigning surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReally? That\u2019s terrible,\u201d I said, not meaning it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His eyes drifted to the kitchen, where the apron still hung.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou win,\u201d he said quietly. \u201cI\u2026 I saw a lifestyle that looked good on the surface without realizing how harmful it was.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I closed my laptop. \u201cIn that case, we both win. I get to wear pants again, and you\u2019ll get to keep your job. By the way, I decided to get a remote job after all. I started applying to vacancies today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a moment, I thought he might argue. Instead, he nodded slowly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said finally. \u201cMom always looked so happy in her role, I thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou thought I\u2019d be happy, too, but I\u2019m not her,\u201d I finished for him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night, I took the uniform and stuffed it in the back of the closet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe someday we\u2019d pull it out and laugh about it. Or maybe we\u2019d burn it in the backyard. Either way, a smirk curled my lips as I turned away from the closet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The scent of victory was sharper than lemon polish, and I wore it better than any uniform he could buy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One week of marriage, and I was still riding the high of it all: the ceremony, the honeymoon, and now, unpacking our things in our first home. I heard Derek\u2019s key in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5319,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting-stories"],"yoast_head":"\n