I\u2019m 30, married to a man named Drew who\u2019s 33, and we have a six-month-old baby girl named Sadie. She\u2019s the light of my life\u2014a smile like sunshine, chubby cheeks, and the sweetest little giggle. But apparently, all of that was just a minor inconvenience to my husband when I got sick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me tell you what happened. Strap in, because it still feels like a fever dream, and not just because I had a fever when it all started. This all occurred about a month ago. I\u2019d caught some brutal virus. Not COVID-19, not RSV, but something gnarly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I mean, this thing came with body aches, chills, and a cough that made my ribs feel like they were being punched from the inside! The worst part? Sadie had just gotten over a cold herself, so I was already drained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, I was sleep-deprived, sick, and trying to take care of a baby who was still clingy from her own recovery. Strangely, Drew had been acting weird for weeks, even before I got sick. He was distant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Always on his phone, chuckling at things he wouldn\u2019t share. When I\u2019d ask what was so funny, he\u2019d just shrug and say, \u201cIt\u2019s work stuff.\u201d His fuse was short, too. He snapped over stupid things\u2014the dishes in the sink and my forgetting to defrost the chicken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My husband also kept commenting on how tired I looked. \u201cYou always seem exhausted,\u201d he said one night while I rocked Sadie in my arms and tried to suppress a cough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, yeah, duh. I\u2019m raising a human,\u201d I replied with a tinge of annoyance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought maybe, just maybe, this illness would snap him out of it. I hoped he\u2019d see me struggling and finally step up. Pick up the slack. Be the man I married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boy, was I wrong!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The night my fever hit 102.4, I could barely sit up! My hair was stuck to my forehead, my skin burned, and my whole body ached like I\u2019d been hit by a truck! I looked at him and, with all the strength I could muster, I whispered, \u201cCan you please take Sadie? I just need to lie down for 20 minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t even blink. \u201cI can\u2019t. Your cough is keeping me up. I NEED SLEEP. I think I\u2019m gonna stay at my mom\u2019s for a few nights.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I actually laughed\u2014not because it was funny, but because it was so absurd I thought he had to be joking!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He actually got up, packed a duffel bag, kissed Sadie on the head\u2014not me\u2014and walked out. All the while, I kept asking him, \u201cAre you serious right now? You\u2019re really leaving?\u201d And he just nodded his head and said nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t even bother asking how Sadie would be taken care of while I could barely stand! After he left, I sat on the couch holding her while she cried from being overtired and hungry. I stared at the door. My phone buzzed a few minutes later after I texted him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re seriously leaving me here sick and alone with the baby?\u201d I had texted, still in disbelief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re the mom. You know how to handle this stuff better than me. I\u2019d just get in the way. Plus, I\u2019m exhausted and your cough is unbearable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I read that text five times and stared at it in shock! My hands were shaking, whether from the fever or the rage, I\u2019ll never know! I couldn\u2019t believe that this man, who was supposed to be my life partner, thought my cough was too much of a hindrance than staying and helping with OUR child while I was clearly sick!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FINE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I somehow made it through the weekend. I barely ate. I cried in the shower when Sadie finally napped. I kept her alive on nothing but Tylenol, willpower, and instinct. And during that time, Drew didn\u2019t check in, not once!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I couldn\u2019t rely on family because they were hours away, and although my friends popped in and called now and then, they were too busy, out of town, or had some other reason. The whole time I was burning up in bed, one idea kept playing in my mind: I need to show this man what it feels like to be completely abandoned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I started devising my plan. I figured if he thought being sick and then abandoned wasn\u2019t a big deal, I was going to give him an idea of what it felt like. By the time I felt somewhat human again, with no fever, still coughing but functional, I knew exactly what I was going to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So a week later, I texted him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey babe. I\u2019m feeling much better now. You can come home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t hesitate. \u201cThank God! I\u2019ve barely slept here. Mom\u2019s dog snores and she keeps asking me to help with yard work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yard work. Poor baby. Imagine that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ahead of his return, I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, prepped Sadie\u2019s bottles and food, and even made Drew\u2019s favorite dinner, spaghetti carbonara with garlic bread from scratch. I showered, put on makeup for the first time in two weeks, and wore jeans that didn\u2019t scream \u201cI\u2019ve been up every two hours with a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When he walked in, he looked around like everything was back to normal. He was smiling, looking relaxed, ate like a king, burped, and then collapsed onto the couch with his phone! He barely said a word to me about the week I had endured!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few minutes into his relaxation time, I finally struck!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey,\u201d I said sweetly, \u201cCan you hold Sadie for a sec? I need to grab something upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSure,\u201d he muttered after sighing and rolling his eyes. He kept scrolling TikTok with one hand and held her with the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I came down five minutes later with my small suitcase and my car keys. Sadie was smiling and babbling in his lap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Noticing the movement, he blinked. \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI booked a weekend spa retreat,\u201d I said, calm as can be. \u201cMassage, facial, room service. I just need some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sat up, confused. \u201cWait, you\u2019re going now?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYep. Just two nights. I left instructions. Bottles are labeled and her toys are there. Diapers and wipes are stocked. Emergency numbers are on the fridge. I got lots of groceries. Everything\u2019s good. Unlike you, I actually planned ahead for you. Besides, you\u2019re the dad. You know how to handle this stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cClaire, I don\u2019t know what to\u2014\u201d he started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I raised a hand. \u201cNo, no. Your words last week, remember? \u2018You\u2019re the mom. You know how to handle this stuff better than me.\u2019 Now it\u2019s your turn.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He seemed gobsmacked for a few seconds before he said, \u201cWait\u2014Claire, c\u2019mon. You can\u2019t just\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can. I am. You abandoned me when I needed you most. So now you\u2019ll see what it\u2019s like to carry everything alone. Don\u2019t call unless it\u2019s a real emergency. And no pawning her off on your mom. You\u2019re the dad. Figure it out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He just stared at me with his eyes wide. I don\u2019t think he was processing what was happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou wanted sleep? Good luck getting any. Bye-bye, dear. I\u2019ll be back Sunday night!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I walked out. I didn\u2019t slam the door. I didn\u2019t cry in the car. I drove 45 minutes to a beautiful, tranquil, and quiet little inn with a spa and free chocolate chip cookies in the lobby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That day, I vowed not to answer any calls or texts. I figured if there was a real issue, Drew could get in touch with his mother or take Sadie to the hospital. I even ignored the first wave of panicked voicemails and FaceTime attempts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, I had a 90-minute massage, took naps, read by the fireplace, got a pedicure, and watched trashy reality shows in a fluffy robe. Bliss!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saturday? Slept in until 9 a.m., got a facial, and ate a warm croissant while reading a book by the fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He did call twice. Left two voicemails. One was mild panic. The other was an attempt to guilt-trip me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cClaire, Sadie won\u2019t nap. I don\u2019t know how you do this. She spit up on me twice. Please call back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I did FaceTime that evening because, despite everything, I missed my daughter, and unlike him, I still really loved him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When the screen lit up, Drew looked like he\u2019d aged 10 years. Sadie was in his arms, hair a mess, chewing on his hoodie string. Her diaper looked\u2026 full.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, Sadie-bug,\u201d I said, my voice softening. \u201cMommy misses you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She smiled. Reached for the screen. Drew looked like he wanted to melt.
\u201cClaire,\u201d he said, his voice cracking. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m really, really sorry. I didn\u2019t realize how hard this is!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No kidding!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I nodded. \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sunday evening, I came home to a war zone! Toys everywhere. Dirty bottles in the sink. Drew was still in the same shirt from the day before, his eyes sunken, hair sticking up like a cartoon scientist!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sadie squealed and giggled when she saw me! I scooped her up and kissed her all over! She smelled like baby wipes and panic, but was fine, maybe a little clingy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Drew just looked at me like he was seeing a goddess with infinite powers\u2014exhausted and ashamed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI get it now,\u201d he whispered. \u201cI really do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He nodded. \u201cI messed up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pulled out a folded paper from my purse and placed it on the table. Don\u2019t get excited, it wasn\u2019t divorce papers, at least, not yet. He looked down like a deer caught in headlights, probably thinking the papers were the end of our marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it was a list. A schedule. Morning duties, nighttime feedings, grocery runs, laundry, baths. His name was next to half of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t get to tap out anymore,\u201d I told him. \u201cI need a partner. Not a third child.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He nodded, slowly. \u201cOkay. I\u2019m in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To his credit, he has been trying. He wakes up when Sadie cries at night. He makes her bottles and finally managed to change her diaper without gagging! He even learned to swaddle her without watching a tutorial!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I\u2019m not stupid. I\u2019m not rushing to forgive him. I\u2019m still watching. Still deciding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But at least now, he knows: love doesn\u2019t mean allowing someone to walk all over you, and I\u2019m not the type of woman you leave behind when things get tough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m the woman who makes sure you never, ever forget it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m 30, married to a man named Drew who\u2019s 33, and we have a six-month-old baby girl named Sadie. She\u2019s the light of my life\u2014a smile like sunshine, chubby cheeks, and the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pets"],"yoast_head":"\n