A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
\u201cHere is the situation,\u201d she said. \u201cA man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can\u2019t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A girl raised her hand and asked, \u201cTo draw out all his savings?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Son: \u201cDaddy, why some of your hairs have turned white?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Father: \u201cEvery lie you tell makes one of my hairs white.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Son: Oh, now I understand why all grandfathers\u2019 hairs are white.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The teacher asks the children what they would like to do in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jimmy: I want to be a pilot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Willy: I want to become a doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mary: I want to be a good mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Little Johnny: I want to help Mary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Children lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray, \u201cTake only one. God is watching.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One child whispered to another, \u201cTake all you want. God is watching the apples.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
4.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because although a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The little girl said Jonah was swallowed by a whale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The little girl said, \u201cWhen I get to Heaven, I\u2019ll ask Jonas.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The teacher asked, \u201cWhat if Jonah went to hell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The little girl replied, \u201cThen you ask him!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A 7-year-old child is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, \u201cEating so many chocolate bars is bad for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boy looks over and replies, \u201cMy great-grandfather lived to be one hundred and five\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The man replies, \u201cAnd he ate so much chocolate?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo,\u201d the boy says, \u201che minded his own business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
6.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In a shop for kids. Peter chooses a toy car, comes to the cash desk, and gives the cashier money cards from the Monopoly game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The cashier:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2013 Are you stupid? It\u2019s not real money!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Peter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2013 You are stupid. The car isn\u2019t real either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One day a boy came home running while crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His mother asked what happened, why are you crying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boy said he was punished for something he didn\u2019t do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her mother said, \u201cThat\u2019s horrible. What did you not do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The boy said in tears, \u201cMy homework.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
LOL!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n